Local news media and ESPN are reporting that Brian Hill will be named Head Coach of the Orlando Magic by tomorrow afternoon. It was noted that this decision will be a popular one among long time Magic fans.
Hello, long time Orlando Magic fan here. Yes, I even have a website dedicated entirely to the Magic. Guess what, Brian Hill as the Magic head coach is NOT a popular decision with me. It might be popular for the half dozen or so that actually care what happened to him in his previous experience here. I don't like what happened anymore than the next guy, but I don't think he is the answer to our problems. If you feel bad and what to right a wrong, buy him a car or name a section of bleachers after him. But to give an unproven coach another chance when no other team is remotely interested in him. I am speechless.
Oh, yes - I said unproven. A 191-104 record is nothing to be impressed upon. Remember, this was the Shaq and Penny era we are talking about. Stuff could have coached that team to the finals back then.
So, this leads me to what perhaps might be my grandest of all plans. If I can get the remaining 350-400 Orlando Magic fans to each contribute 1.5 to 2 million dollars a piece, I will buy the team. Yes. You heard correctly. For a small price, I will take your contribution and turn this team into a winner. Guaranteed. Or your money back. And, for a limited time - for each fan you refer that contributes at least $1.5 million, you will get 5% back. For each fan they refer, you will get 2% back. I'll throw in a nice package of soap and toothpaste. You get the drift.